Visiting Churches

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
-John 13:35

We moved recently, and spent several months visiting churches, looking for a new place to call home. One thing that really turned me off to some of the churches we visited was not what happened during the service so much as what happened before and after the service.

I overheard people talking before the service, obviously regular attendees. However, even from the little bit that I heard it was obvious that they were not connected. They asked each other banal questions about work, questions more properly asked when meeting someone for the first or second time. They most likely knew a lot more about their co-workers than about their brothers in the church.

As I walked through some church entryways I would be greeted by a glazed, "Good morning, how are you?" It was often obvious that the questioner was unsure if I were a new visitor or a long-time member. Then, if I were to reply with, "rather tired, it's been a long week," I would hear in reply a muttered "fine" in response to a question I was expected to, but had not asked. Usually the person would vanish without breaking stride on some much more important business than getting to know me.

A third turn-off was the after-service rush. The second the closing "amen" was uttered the entire congregation would leap from their seats, rushing to get out the door, avoiding any direct eye-contact for fear of having to talk to someone. Within minutes, the parking lot would be empty, and the church would be left with one or two of the most active church members talking with the pastor.

I fully realize that I am being quite harsh. I am critically emphasizing things which I noticed as a visitor. The faults I'm pointing out were exceptions rather than the rule, and I'm sure there is a lot of background that I don't know, which would explain these behaviors. So I am sorry for appearing to be negative.

I want to encourage all of us (myself included) to not be like this, even as only a surface appearance. If I were a non-Christian, I would certainly be critical or what I saw. I have found myself doing these things at times, and am embarrassed.

Several churches that we have visited were exactly the opposite. It was impossible to get in the door without a friendly member asking a lot of questions. Then there was a stretch after the final prayer, followed by hours of conversation, and likely invitations for visiting during the afternoon or following week.

Let us be like this, known by our love for our brothers and sisters in the church in ever deepening ways.